8:32am Kenai, AK
Happy last day of work to me. Happy last day of work to me. Happy last day of work to me-e it's been a long road but i've learned a lot and grown a lot and seen a lot of gross thiiiings. Happy last day of work to me!

9:25am Kenai, AK
Well i must apologize. There are a myriad of reasons why i have not written for so long - really slow internet, illness, end of season organization and just plain laziness but i know that these are things that i want to write about. i have been having some really great fun nights and so much has happened since i last wrote. so i am going to try and fill it all in. working backwards. i am going to put my thing down flip it and reverse it.
I got to go to the store yesterday. I picked up Coline (formerly known as the crazy cat lady) we divided and conquered our shopping lists then road home singing along to carol king, simon and garfunkle, and men at work...you can't beat that sort of jamming. It was great. Then last night i took my crew to dinner to thank them for all of their hard work. We went to Don Jose's a surprisingly good Mexican restaurant. I had the chicken chimichanga - not as good as el coyotes (RIP) but pretty good. We laughed and enjoyed margaritas and not working it was great. I am really going to miss them.
Wednesday morning Sarah and Kelly left camp :( but i mailed out 3 packages of stuff i have acquired in preparation to go home :) then it was a day filled with laundry and the usual followed by an evening in with Field of Dreams (you told me your finger was a gun.) Not too shabby. Tuesday i was sick as a dog - sympathy sinus infection - i think a result of the second hand smoke...hmmm surgeon general you may be on to something. When i wasn't absolutely needed i clocked out and went to bed - probably the fewest hours i have worked all summer. Then Jackie and Kathy left which really made me sad because Jackie and I have gotten a lot closer these past few weeks and we've had a lot of fun. I am not worried that i won't see her again it was just tough to see her go. I ended my evening falling asleep during Nanny McPhee - hopped up on Bulgarian inhaler meds. (don't worry mom the girl that gave me the inhaler is a nurse)
Monday i was getting sick - which was awesome.
Sunday was a regular day. Clean the big ol office, do the laundry that the people who can't read leave on the stoop, snack shack it up...then in the evening Andy (the head of processing) took me, Jackie and Kathy to dinner at Nikko Garden - a Japanese restaurant. He ordered a table full of sushi and took home whatever wasn't eaten. I tried fried eel...it tasted like chicken and i also tried crab meat with egg...it tasted mostly like eggs. And for the record i don't care what anyone says - things that come out of the sea taste like the sea. You can't fool me by saying it doesn't taste like fish or crustacean or whatever...i know...and yes it does taste like fish! People who like something should never say that it doesn't taste like what it is or else why would they like it. I am through listening to people lie about fish.
Okay lets be honest most of my days are the same so i am now just going to talk about my nights because they were the interesting part anyway...and that is what my sieve of a mind remembers.
Saturday night I didn't feel like cooking so i rounded up Sarah and Kelly and we walked to the Sailors Galley - a small restaurant up the road from the Vagabond. Heavily decorated. Where each item on the menu had a special name ie: fries are called seaweed...you know the type of place i mean. Well i ordered the Rigging - we call that spaghetti and meatballs on the street. And you know, it was really good. It's a damn shame that i didn't walk there sooner...but it's probably for the best. (maybe i will go to breakfast there on sunday when i am free...) So after dinner we walked across the street to the Vagabond to get some package goods. Sarah had made a bet with Eddie that she could drink him under the table. Now, Eddie is in college and Sarah is a kindergarten teacher. I am not doubting a school teacher could house a college kid in drinking contest but in this case the college kid is tall and bulky and the teacher is lite and bitty. She never stood a chance but i admire her gumption. I picked up an 18pk of miller lite and Sarah picked up her 2 bottles of jager. That's right boys and girls they were going punch for punch with jager. Kelly got some tequila and that was that. It just so happened that Jackie, Kathy and Michelle were in the bar section of the Vagabond so we went and said hey then jumped in on the cab they had called.
The game was midget beer pong called so because instead of a regulation table they had a bed and in the place of ping pong balls they had pennies. Every time Sarah or Eddie had to drink so did the other one and if either one took a side swig the other one had to as well. I think i actually saw the moment that Sarah blacked out. It was subtle but i knew that it was only downhill for her from there on. And as Chris says, "does anyone really win in a game of 'lets see who can drink more?'" After two rounds of midget pong my bladder was quite full and it was getting hard to see the pennies in the dark. So i called it a night. The next morning there was a bag of laundry with a note on my stoop...a product of the drinking contest.
Friday was a low key night. A casual stroll to the Vagabond for a few drinks followed by a trip to the beach to see what they J-1s were up to. Very chill and just fun.
Thursday was my Bear Grills night on the beach. I had decided earlier in the week that i was going to make a fire on the beach and relax. I thought that other people would come along but after i tell you about wednesday you will understand why i was alone. So I got a ride out to the beach earlier in the day with a truck bed full of pallets and i stashed them in some brush. Then i went back to work readied some dinner and got dressed to go. I stopped by Jackies room but she was not up to the task. She gave me some marshmallows and wished me well. Next i went to Sarah and Kelly's tent - they were having happy hour and said they would be along later. So armed with some cous cous, water and a book in my backpack, a bowl of marinating chicken in one hand and a banana box lid in the other i walked to the beach. I found a place to set up my fire and put all of my accoutrement there. It was time for my pallets. Wearing only flip flops i started breaking them apart to turn them into firewood. Tetanus - i laugh in your face. Next i ripped up my banana box lid. I made a small pile of kindling and lit that thing up. banana box lid...not so quick to light. thankfully really old dry pallets and sticks are. I had a nice sized fire in no time. Now for my chicken. Since i value the small hairs on my arm and the flesh on my body, holding the chicken on a fork over the flames was not an option. So i laid my chicken on a hot flat piece of pallet...heck yeah...special sauce. As I'm sure you can imagine, the outside cooked rather quickly but while i will cook chicken on old pallets i will not under cook chicken on old pallets. So i flipped it, let it cook some more, then took it out and cut it so that the insides could cook. It was totally wilderness-rific. And aside from the really crispy bit the chicken wasn't so bad. I enjoyed my meal, read some of my book and then started in on burning whole pallets. It was windy so my wood was burning fast. I didn't want to be there all night and Lord knows i wasn't about to drag those pallets back to camp. So i created one hell of a blaze instead. A few arm hairs later I let my fire die out, had a wade in the glacial waters and headed back to camp. As I came down the drive Sarah and Kelly were headed my way. I was all campfired out so i called it a night. but it was good. make a fire on the beach: check.
And now here we are. back to where i left you oh so many days ago. Wednesday. So after i clocked out i went and put on my sweatshorts, grabbed a beer and went and basked in the sun with Jackie. Both Jennifer and Ilian had invited me to the beach later that night for this kids birthday and i started thinking...why the heck not. (Jennifer said that 'when you get to the beach it is on the left. upstairs.') "Jackie, lets go to the beach later." "Okay." Awesome. We figured it was a good will mission. We wanted them to know that we weren't above hanging out. Now Jackie was a few beers into her celebration by the time we decided to go to the beach. But we wanted to go - 'we'll be fine.' We put on some pants grabbed some TP for the walk back, a few beers and Jesse's Jager and red bull for the beach and hit the road. It just so happened that Michelle and Kathy were going out to Don Jose's that night so we caught a ride in their cab and had them drop us off at the beach. We got there super early and 'upstairs' made no sense in the context of the beach so we found a nice log, had a sit down and cracked a cold one. After a few shots Jackie says, "I'm drunk. I had four beers before you guys were even out of work" Sweet action. Let the games begin. We sat there for a little while longer wondering where everyone was when i saw one of the J-1s climb up a small hill. 'oh upstairs...i get it.' So we gathered our beers and headed 'upstairs.' When we got there i was amazed. I hear them talk about going to the beach all the time. They eat, they drink, they sing, they have a blast. But until i got there i had no idea. There was a celebratory condom balloon tied to a small tree near the "path" up and a fire going with hot dogs cooking on sticks. But the coolest part was the group of 8 or so people all sitting around this feast that they had created using broken down beer boxes as a blanket underneath a dozen paper plates full of food. There were lemon wedges to go with the vodka and tomatoes with mayonnaise and cheese. It was beautiful. I realized that even though the fishing sucks and the hours suck and most times the boredom sucks, all of these people went to the beach and genuinely enjoyed themselves. They didn't need much (i guess because they didn't have much) and every other night they would come and they sit around their "blanket" eating and drinking while someone played guitar or an ipod played in the background and they would sing along and enjoy their time. I was touched to be there and to witness this. They were so welcoming just glad that Jackie and I had come. We had some vodka and some lemons followed by some 'sausages' and a salad of some sort. It was wonderful. But as she leaned over and told me - Jackie was drunk. We took some pictures and after a bit decided that it was time to go. We were both wearing flip flops and had never been 'upstairs' before but decided that the best way home was straight through the woods. Not back down the small hill to the beach below where we knew the way...no no...that was too simple. So there we were, me in the lead and drunk Jackie wearing the backpack following. It was a hoot - we were laughing so hard the whole time. We didn't even get ten feet when Jackie leaned on a tree, "Gravity pull!" The alcohol was taking over her balance. She righted herself and we kept walking. "Gravity pull." Luckily the route we had chosen was very densely wooded - so much so that the trees were helping to keep Jackie upright. Pretty soon we were out of the woods and into the less solid really tall grass. "Gravity pull." But before i could do anything Jackie was on the ground laughing. "I am so drunk. Meredith I haven't been this drunk in ten years." "Hey it's cool. I'm having a blast." I helped her up. "Maybe i should take the backpack." "Ya think?" Both upright we were back on our way. She must have fallen 3 or 4 more times before she decided to stay down. "Since we're here why don't we pause and have a beer." I busted out two of our unopened beers. Jackie had a few sips and then gently laid her can down and let it go to sleep. The beer drained out - better in the ground than in her. I smiled. "Meredith I am so drunk." "I know Jackie. We're almost there." More laughter. I don't know when it was but i eventually saw the top of a building at the end of our driveway so i steered us towards that. We were getting close. Somehow we made it through the grass and the nature and found our way to a road. And wouldn't you know as we were coming out of the brush there were Kelly and Sarah headed to the beach to see everyone. We told them our tale and they laughed. They helped pick some bits of tree out of Jackie's hair and then headed to the beach while we headed back to camp. As we got to the intersection by the driveway we ran into Jennifer and Ilian. I told them that i might be back but that i wanted to get Jackie home safe first. Arm in arm we walked down the drive way. And by some bizarre twist of fate Kathy and Michelle happened by in their cab. They picked us up and brought us back to Jackie's room where we got Jackie it bed. Water by the bed and cell phone in her hand we said good night. It was spectacular. What a perfect evening. I decided to call it a night as well and get my own water and cell phone. I don't know if i have laughed that hard all summer. And of course the next day Jackie was a total champ. Smiling and happy not looking the slightest bit hungover even though she was. It was just a really great night.
And there it is. you are all caught up. And i am tired. I think i am going to go pack and sleep. More tomorrow. (even though it says that is was published at whatever odd time in the morning i have been writing this throughout the day - between candy sales and laundry loads so that is why i am tired.) Good night.

11:07 Kenai, AK
We're going to get in our way back machine and go to June 3. On the plane to Alaska from Michigan i wrote about my weekend and I said that I would put it up here later. Well I had some free time yesterday to revisit it for the first time since i wrote it and i figured i would post it today. It's long...just so you know.
Tuesday June 3, 2008 in some time zone probably over Canada
Saturday was not a good day. They shut down the “highway” into Kenai which meant to be on time for my 6:40am flight we had to leave the plant at 5am and go the long way to town. We arrived at the airport by 5:50am. I said good bye and went inside to sit. With my new closest companion – my ipod – I sat in the small airport waiting. It was getting time to board when the gate clerk/baggage checker - one of the two man team that was working the airline that day (the other being the pilot/stewardess) - came over and told us that there were some maintenance issues and that our flight would be delayed. “I have to get to Anchorage – its bereavement.” “Okay. I’m so sorry. We will see what we can do.” My grandmother was still alive but I didn’t know for how much longer and I wanted to get there. I called my mom – like you do when things aren’t going the way that they should - and she and my uncle got on the case making sure that I would be able to get there…somehow. Not too much later – but late enough that I was getting worried – it was time to board. The pilot walked us out to our little 8 seater, thanked us for our patience, told us there were info cards in the seat in front of us and took off without any further delay. I kept in touch via text, letting my parents know that I had taken off and then 25min. later that I had landed. Northwest was in the same terminal so I found out where to check in quickly made my way there. I checked my bag and headed to security. Not being a frequent first class flyer I didn’t realize that you get to do everything separately including go through security. I climbed under the rope eager to get to my gate and was told that I had been selected for a random security check. I had to get patted down and my bags needed to be swabbed – the effects of a last minute flight. There was a large pile of belongings slowly being checked by security. I couldn’t help but keep checking my watch – this was ridiculous. I wanted to get on my plane and get to my grandmother already…they were taking too long. I got the okay, scooped up my belongings and headed for the gate. I called my parents in my grandmother’s room to let them know that I was almost at my gate – I was getting closer.
The voice that answered said that the family had left the room. She was dead. I hung up and called my dad. My mom answered. They had left the room to let the aides take care of her. Crying and confused I asked my mom what happened. She told me that she was out in the hall when it happened – on the phone with Continental trying to make sure I was squared away. She had been there for days by my grandmother’s side and she missed it because I had some stupid plane troubles. But her voice was calm and soothing and not the slightest bit upset. My sister was holding my grandmother’s hand when she died. An EMT, she noticed her breathing slowing down and her pulse fading. She looked up at my father and said that she didn’t think my grandmother had a carotid pulse and that they should get a nurse. My mother told me it was such a gift that my sister was there for her last breath. She couldn’t be there and what an honor that her daughter could. My grandmother told my mom a few days before that she didn’t want to be alone when she died – and she wasn’t - my mom made sure of that.
I hung up and walked to the gate tears streaming down my face. I paused on the walkway to call Chris and let him know that my grandmother was gone and that I was getting on the plane. I took my seat in first class glad to be able to sit. The stewardess came over to ask if she could get me anything to drink. “Do you have any beer?” Moments later I was drinking my breakfast. My mom called me to make sure I got on the plane okay. I told her I was okay, that I was having a drink - it wasn’t champagne but it would do – her only request was that I not pour it on my cheerios. I cried for a while and kept the beers coming…one of the beauties of first class next to the added butt and leg room. I finally decided to put on a movie to think about something else. A few hours later we landed in Minnesota, prettier and greener than I had imagined. I sent texts out that I had landed and that I was going to find my gate. I talked to my dad and he told me that my sister and I were all set with a room for that night – complete with the flowers that I sent my grandmother. I called Chris because I was really just upset and he told me that he was coming out. He had booked a flight for the next morning. I started crying again. I had to sit down. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted him to come but didn’t want to ask – I was so relieved.
I made it to my gate, sat down and looked out the window…of course – the sky was black. Apparently we were under severe thunderstorm warning. Great. All I wanted was to get to Michigan and see my family. I just wanted to be there. I boarded my third plane of the day, looked out the window and watched the rain start to fall…followed shortly by the hail. “Oh, hell.” This delayed all of the planes on the runway…there was traffic on the tarmac. An hour or so later we took off. We hit some turbulence on the way a result of the storm. Why is it that flying through something as fluffy as clouds causes such a disturbance? As we neared Michigan I saw something that I hadn’t seen in almost two weeks…night. It was so bizarre. I had gotten used to it always being at least a little light out and to see a city twinkling below seemed foreign. I landed, got my bag, and went outside to wait for my sister. She and my uncle Peter came to pick me up. Finally…family. My parents were sleeping thankfully. I know they needed it. We got to the extended stay hotel and knocked on their door; they had told us to stop by – always parents they wanted to know that both of their girls were safe. No answer. We went to our room where not too long after we got a call that they were up and they wanted us to come on down. It was so nice to see them - they are my trifecta. We sat around and laughed for a bit – something we Scheibner’s are very good at – then they decided that they were tired and wanted to go back to bed.
My parents woke up early on Sunday to go to church – my grandmothers church - and then we all met for breakfast. After breakfast we went shopping. I didn’t want to attend my grandmother’s funeral in cargo pants and hiking boots. Not that she would have minded, I’m sure, but she deserved more than that. There would be a private informal family viewing at the funeral home on Sunday at 2pm and the funeral was set for 7pm Monday night at Holy Cross Episcopal Church – the church my grandmother had been a member of for 29 years. We took two cars to the viewing so that afterwards my sister and I could go get Chris at the airport.
We waited upstairs for the rest of the Clark family – my mother’s two brothers and their families. My grandmother was waiting for us downstairs – peacefully laid out with a slight smile on her face. They did a really nice job - she still looked like Grammie. We all stood there quietly for a bit crying and taking in the last sight of our grandmother and mother. She looked like she was sleeping. Every now and then I thought I could see her breathing. Part of me really wished she was. When we were ready we all left the room and went into the hall to catch up and talk then my sister and I went to the airport while everyone else formulated a plan for dinner.
It was like exhaling to see Chris. I was so glad he was there.
Later the whole family met for dinner at a little Italian sports bar called Vitale’s not too far away. It was so nice to be all together. I like having everyone around, even if we’re all talking about different things it’s just nice to be surrounded by the people that mean the most to you. My Aunt Rose’s brother Frank even made the drive up from Kentucky that morning to be with us which was such a treat. I don’t know why but I had a feeling he would come. My grandmother’s older sister Elisabeth joined our table too. My heart hurts for her losing her sister. They were quite a pair. I kept looking up during dinner – they were so much alike. Even the way that they held their bread – they had the same hands. I wish my grandmother could have been there, she liked being surrounded by her family too. After dinner my cousins and I split up the alcohol order and picked a room to meet up at…how often do we have all of the cousins together?
The next morning my sister and father went over to my grandmother’s room to help pack up her belongings while my mother prepared her ‘loving reflection.’ Chris and I went shoe shopping, picked up the bulletins for church and then went to Starbucks for a little pick-me-up for my mom. After that we went over to my grandmother’s room to be of more help. It was distracting going through her things. There was so much history in that room. After a bit of packing I went back to the hotel to get my mom – she wanted to do a trial run of her reflection for us and her brothers. It was beautiful. She spoke of my grandmother’s life like a quilt – all of the pieces and love that went into it and made up her life. She couldn’t help but cry which of course made us cry too. But you have to cry sometimes so that way you can be stronger later. And she was.
Holy Cross Church was packed at 7pm to remember the life of Mary Zimmermann Clark. There was a small table up front with two roses and a favorite picture of my grandparents silhouetted at sunset looking at each other – in between were the remains of my grandmother. Not too much fanfare…simple the way she would have wanted it. Leaning against one of the table legs was Psalm 23 embroidered and framed – it was my grandmother’s favorite psalm it had hung over her bed. It wasn’t until after the congregation gave their first response that I realized how full the church was. I was touched. All of these people came to pay their respects to my grandmother – they were all part of her life. Relatives of relatives came in support, long time friends and a bunch of the aides that cared for and loved my grandmother were all there. After the service Frank told my mom that he was sure her dad was smiling down – so proud of the way that she and her brothers had honored their mom. I’m sure he was right – we were all very proud. There was a small reception in the church with lots of catching up and good memories. We decided to go to dinner afterward. A call was made for a reservation of 30. It was time to leave. My dad, my sister and I went into the church with my mom to help her gather everything. My mom gently picked up her mom with a calm smile. We looked around to make sure we had everything and left the sanctuary. Flanking our mother as she held her own mother we walked out of the church – Grammie had left the building.
Grammie was placed in the car and I gave my mom a hug. “I’m really okay,” she said and I knew she was I just wanted to check…I can’t imagine it’s easy. We all caravanned to the restaurant and had a great meal. A room full of family – the way it should be. After we were all stuffed we said our goodbyes and all went our separate ways. It was pretty late and lots of us would be flying out the next day. We went back to the hotel and packed and relaxed. The next morning Chris and I went to the airport to await our separate planes. Not long after Chris took off my sister came (with cookies) to await her plane too. I got to see her for a few minutes before i took off which was comforting - that whole seeing someone you know in a foreign place. And as hard of a weekend as it was i really loved seeing my family and just being with them. I can’t even imagine losing my mom. But in a way I think the void of losing my grandmother has brought my mom and me closer and I think that somewhere my grandmother is smiling about that.

5:19pm Kenai, AK
It is absolutely gorgeous out. I took a very late lunch at 4pm and walked over to Kenai Landing to see about buying some gifts and the walk was just wonderful - big fluffy clouds in the sky, good temperature, not too much wind. The store i wanted wasn't open so i took the short cut back through the marsh. When i got back to camp i found Jackie - she was sitting in the sun enjoying a beer. Bobbie had let her borrow the car because it was just so beautiful out and all she wanted was to have a beer and soak up the sun. So i sat with her for a few minutes then came back here to help with dinner. But i am about to go clock out and join her. It isn't about the hours anymore...not that it ever really was...but it is just dumb to sit inside not doing anything when i can be outside with Jackie enjoying my time here.

7:27am Kenai, AK
I got the call! At 6:34am while i was in the shower - of course - Anup called me about fashion week. I was beginning to wonder. I got dressed headed to the break room made the coffee and juice, filled the hot water urn, put out more sugar and creamer then i sat down with my computer. Naturally i had to look up when McCarter started. Sadly i won't even be home when they load in the first show...and I'm kind of upset about it. I haven't seen anybody all summer and now I'm missing load in and the BBQ. :( I know i will see everyone eventually but I missed load in last year too. Damn you Kool Aid man...:shake fist in air: So then i called 'Nup back. "Tell me your available." "I'm available. I just wasn't when you called. I was in the shower. It was 6:30am in Alaska." "What?! You're in Alaska? What the hell are you doing there?" Usual response and explanation. He then proceeded to tell me that they want me August 29-Sept 4 and for strike on the 13. But his real hope and dream and IMCD's too - they are the lighting company that is hiring me - is to have me work everyday during fashion week as well. He just has to figure out labor budgets and all of that but I'm pretty pumped. I guess i am doing something right. So there it is from fish to fashion in under a week.

11:55am Kenai, AK
I've started a side business. I now hold the market on cigarettes in camp. $5 a pack. I'm selling filters and lighters too. It's more like fundraising...i don't stand to make that much maybe $5 profit after taxes...somebody has to do it. But i am taking care of my people and building their loyalty. I just hope that i can sell them all before i go.

9:12am Kenai, AK
Not much to say really. I've started preparing for the end. I am weeding out the things that i don't need to bring back with me and giving them away. I am starting to look at what i have acquired and what i can/should mail home. My days are getting shorter - there just isn't as much to do. Yesterday they chartered a bus so that all of the kids could go to fred meyers for 2hrs. which was great because they needed it. They filled one whole bus so we supplemented it with a 12 passenger van and then i drove a mini van. It was nice to get off camp for a little bit but i really didn't have anything to get at fred meyers. After we came back I shaved my legs for the 4th time this summer. (i was starting to creep myself out) I decided to shave in the sink. No one was really around so i thought i was safe. I was on my second leg when this girl walks in. I look at her and say, "I have a hard time shaving in the shower." She says 'okay' and proceeds to wash her hands. I catch her looking at my leg, how could she not - it's in her face, and she looks amazed. In an effort to distract her from the chia pet that i am shearing off my leg i ask her if she had fun at the store. She says 'no.' I am confused. "You didn't have fun at the store." "I do not understand." It was then that it hit home that she had no clue about anything that i had said to her. I was just some hairy weirdo hanging out in the bathroom. I stopped trying to make conversation. It will be so nice when i can shave regularly - not in the sink.