Look Ma, no pants!

6:59am Kenai, AK
It's been an exciting morning here at Inlet Fish. I woke up at 5:20am, like i do, reluctantly got out of bed, threw on my robe, grabbed my two towels (today was a hair washing day - it's bad to wash your hair everyday) and my shower stuff and headed on down to the bathroom. Five steps later, "shit." I had just locked myself out of my room - but thankfully i had on my new robe xs/s as it may be. Well Michelle wasn't going to be awake with her keys for a little bit so i figured "hell, i might as well shower so if i have to go find someone at least i will be clean." And that is how that went, a relatively carefree shower, with intermittent thoughts of "gee i hope i can get in my room...i need my keys so that i can make coffee." So i finish my shower, super thankful that i have a robe, brush my teeth and keep an eye out for Michelle (she wakes up early to use a different shower across camp and i see her while i am running around in the morning. she has office keys...where they keep the room keys.) No Michelle. I leave my shower stuff in the bathroom because at this point i really don't need accessories to make the outfit - it stands alone - and i start walking across camp clad in terry cloth. I see Chapin go into the processing house so i go there. No Chapin. Maybe he's in the bathroom. I'll wait. No Chapin. I start to walk towards refrigeration to see if Ernest is around. I see wet footprints on the ground so i follow them...they lead me to a puddle of water not a person so i head back to the door. As I'm walking i think to myself that this is probably not very sanitary and i am glad there are no fish. Then i heard a horn squeak (like a bicycle honker horn) and i figure "awesome someone is here, my search is over." I follow the noise, "Hello? Hello?" and who comes around the corner but Chapin. "What is wrong with you?" he says with mild disgust. "I locked myself out of my room." i happen to sniff so of course he asks, "Are you crying?" "No, I just feel stupid." "Well, you look stupid." Now that we had gotten all of our usual bickering out of the way he told me that he would meet me over there he just had to get some tools. "you're never going to hear the end of this." He gets out his camera phone to take a picture and then reconsiders. "I'm not going to be mean to you." Oh good, because i am well aware that i am never going to hear the end of this the last thing i need is pictures to make the story better. So we get to my room and he starts poking the knob with his knife. I tell him he's got to try and coax the "latch" out by sliding the knife from behind. No use. He says in all seriousness in a very Chapin way, "Well we could just break the door really quick." umm...no. Then he looks at the pin hinges and goes for more tools. He gives me his room key so that i can go sit in there if i want to or get some clothes. But of course i am stubborn so i stand there in my robe and try to open the door. I am actually making headway with the file and his keys - getting part of the latch to slide..."just a little bit more...ugh come on." I keep at this until someone walks by. Trying to be all tough he busts out is laminated food card and tries to break in. Hi - i was just using a file...off of a metal multi-tool...that flimsy two pieces of paper sandwiched between plastic isn't going to do the trick. But he thinks he is cool so i let him try. He bends his card. I of course am shocked...as i'm sure you can tell. "Thank you for trying," i say and keep going at it with my file. Chapin comes back looking all proud of himself with a hammer and mini pry bar. This reeks of bad idea to me. It's not even 6am. He gives it a few whacks. Not even a budge. "Chapin, it's probably rusted in there." A few more whacks. "Hey it's cool. We should stop." Cue Michelle - she has that it's not even 6am what are you doing with a hammer outside of my room look on her face. Chapin is smiling. "I got locked out. Do you have your key?" She disappears. She comes back out with her keys. "We're sorry we woke you." "Oh, you didn't wake me." d'oh! "Oh. Okay. Is Kathy mad?" "She doesn't have the right to be she keeps up half the camp at night with her snoring." She makes a mean point. "Hang on, I'll come with you." She grabs her shower stuff and comes back out. I tell her the story of how Chapin rounded the corner and found me and she laughs. We go to the office and get my key - i am overjoyed at the aspect of pants. I am walking back to my room and here comes Serigy, this little fashion plate Ukrainian boy with one of those European accents that makes him sound like he is always hitting on people. He gives me a nod like, "Hey, how you do? Nice." (only with an accent.) Great. So i put on clothes...finally and head off to work.
I walk into the breakroom and there are Chapin and Ernest talking about cutting things. There is a brief pause to talk about my little saga this morning and then they continue on. I start making my coffee. Chapin is saying something about his jigsaw being messed up and I ask what's up. He needs to make a cut on a material and for the life of them they can't remember the order of the letters "you know that thick plastic that they make cutting boards out of?" "Yeah. UMDH." (wait that doesn't sound right.) "UMHD" (still not right.) "What's it stand for?" He was checking my credibility. 'i know this. Nelson told me what it stands for.' But what i knew wasn't matching what i thought the letters were. "Ultra High Density...I don't know." "Well i need to make a precision cut and i don't know what tool to use." "Oh. Hang on. I can call someone." "Really?" "Yeah. hang on." "How do you know this stuff?" "We used it on a show last year. Hang on." Heck yeah. See i'm not as dumb as you think. I bust out my phone and dial my "phone a friend" - Steve Howe. I also get into my facebook to see if Nelson is online...a treasure trove of resources all within reach. Thank you McCarter. Steve answers his phone all excited. (d'oh. I feel as though i have let him down slightly because i am calling to pick his brain - of course while i had him on the line i wanted to know how everything was going but i felt bad that i wasn't calling just to chat) "UMDH," I say. (it still doesn't sound right) "UHMW?" "Yes! I knew it didn't sound right" My brief moment of intelligence from moments before...ppft...extinguished. I guess i was thinking University of Medicine and Dentistry...who knows. Ultra High Molecular Weight...it's all coming back now. So he drops his knowledge on proper cutting methods and which saws work best...it was just nice to know that i could call him. (And I'm not just saying this because i know he is an avid reader. Steve I am always glad that you are on my team. You are one of the main reasons i drive the 50miles to work that i do.) Then he tells me that Pij is leaving McC too! Oh Michelle...I'm so sad for you. But Congratulations Jeff...you'll be awesome. And that is when we hung up and i started to write this all down for you. My circus of a morning. But alas i should go...work and all.