7:48am Kenai, AK

Well i have finally realized my dream of dancing at a strip club. I can really see why some of these girls love it. Not really dad - I'm just kidding. :)

Ernest got to work early so we would have time to go pick Molly up, go to the strip club, have some fun and still get Ernest and Petya back for the night shift. (Good Time Charlies is in Soldotna up the hill passed Fred Meyers and St. Elias Brewery.) Like most strip clubs it is a really classy joint - where your main concern is if you have any open cuts or are prone to illness. So we crest the hill and there it is - in all of its shanty glory - the long awaited and much discussed Good Time Charlies. "The red light isn't flashing." (According to Ernest that is how you know they are open for business...But of course.) Hmmm. Two cars in the parking lot - one: an old school limo for sale the other a truck being off loaded of its beer...hmmm. No Good Time Charlies? How is it that the only strip club on the peninsula isn't open at 7:20pm on a Monday night? Ernest tries the door - nothing. And of course they don't have their hours posted in the front window so we sit in the car and figure out our plan. We could either head to St. Elias or Ernest mentions a bar right up the road in Stirling. We decide to keep the adventure going and choose the bar that none of us have been to. The ride is beautiful - we pass the two million acre nature preserve and Ernest's Funny River Road (true story: that is actually the name of the road he lives on...John calls it happy bunny trail i call it funny bunny lane.) The bar is called Moosequitos and it overlooks the Moose River. We go inside - there are four locals and us - Ernest and his three pretty ladies. Molly and I order the Moose Drool, a darker beer, and we all go sit out on the deck. The weather is just right - the sun is out, it's warm and still, eagles keep flying over as we sit there laughing and basking in the sun - it's perfect.

Inside for another round of drinks, Molly and I notice this charming hat hung on the antlers over the bar - 'Born Horny' it says and there is a small wang crafted onto the bill - only to be completed by the pin that says 'I am not offended by nudity.' The hat is not for sale but it is available for pictures. We have a big 'ol laugh and then of course we get it down and Molly takes a picture in said hat. After we leave the bar - it's occupants still smiling from our photo shoot, we decide to try our luck with Good Time Charlies before heading back to camp. As we come down the hill we see no blinking light but a parking lot full of cars. I guess the light is a decoy - 'maybe if we don't turn it on the Jehovah's witness will leave us be.' Hooray! Strip club! So we are all expecting 70 somethings walking around in g-strings with their boobs down to their knees after what everyone has told us. We are expecting big beautiful Inuit women shaking what their mommas gave them - basically we are looking for a laugh. We walk in and we are greeted by a yippy dog and a fully clothed old lady. Nothing says 'welcome to my strip club' like the elderly. We sit down in plastic lawn chairs at what looks like a prime table and await the show. We find the big beautiful Inuit woman we are looking for - she too is fully clothed - she brings us our beers and there is no shaking involved. All around us there are women that look like they are dressed for a night of clubbing in the city talking to people...they are the strippers...and they don't look half bad, but then again we were expecting septuagenarians in stilettos. Batter up. The first lady takes the stage. She shakes a little, walks around, loses her outfit, talks to the guy in front of her and is done. And this, my friends, is what Good Time Charlies is known for. Shaking like they are being bitten by a mosquito and stripping like they are running to a shower. The next three dancers are similar except for the one who is more obviously baked than the others. Her dance is the most humorous - she winds up wiggling on the floor. After we have had a few laughs we look at the clock and it's time to go. "Leaving so soon? the door guy asks, "yea, we have to go back to work." And we did. We bid Molly farewell and headed back to our simple lives at the cannery.